ALL YOU EVER WANTED

the devil always came to me,
shaped as acceptance.
it’s all i ever wanted.
all wrapped with a cute bow; a present.
and all that pretty pink confetti inside.
i always opened it too eager,
envisaging an eye pleaser.
unwrapping, confident i’ve struck gold
only to find it’s a just a mass of bones.
baby bones; it’s skull looked at me,
and for a second i knew it grinned,
because i played his game again.

SHIT SOUP FOR THE SOUL

it’s weird to know we’re mesmerized by the same sky every morning.
how the colours developed,
how the clouds settled,
how the cold enveloped.
it’s almost as if we’re equal.
it’s almost as if i’m worthy.

SHIT CONCEPT OF TIME

Eventually I get bored of everything.
And with the littlest compassion I can scrounch up,
I don’t want you to be everything.
Do you think it’s wasting time?
I whispered, “No, it’s mostly sharing”.

SIGH

WHEN IS IT GOING TO END
WHEN AM I GOING TO TRANSCEND
OH HEAVEN SENT
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO MEND, MY FRIEND.

PS: WHY DO I ONLY WRITE WHEN I’M FEELING SAD OR DISAPPOINTED (RHETORICAL QUESTION)

AND WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO RHYME

CATERPILLAR

realize my child you’re not the only one
realize before you cock that gun
run away my child because you’re worth it
run away and never submit
i’m 22 and i still don’t understand
why one grieves for the other

GET AWAY

i don’t want to make poems for you anymore
my neck hurts and my brain is sore
it’s time you get out
out of my amygdala
out of my temperal lobe

finally void of any doubt

LAST

i stucked my sadness
underneathe the table
hoping somebody will come by
and accidentally touch it
and cringe but I
I get the last laugh

172

the snakes in my brain they’re whispering sweet nothings to the little drawings of snakes on your neck. they’re telling me to get the snakes out. cut them out. it’s not safe. they told me to save this. save it in the drafts. cause it’s fucked up. i said no you’re fucked up. they hissed so loudly, i saw white.

HOW DO I EXPLAIN IT

forgot how much i miss the red behind my eyelids
forgot how much i yearned for a place that don’t exist
not really, it’s more like a hemorrhagic cyst
and one day it’ll extravasate and all i’ll see is red